The Mystery
It all started with the stolen garbage can lid. I left my garbage at the end of the driveway, like I've been doing for 18 years. The garbage guys are reliable, some a little neater than others, but basically I'd say I'm very pleased with the standards of my refuse removal.
This week, somebody took my garbage can lid. No, it didn't blow away. No, I didn't forget it. Somebody actually slowed down, stopped in the road, got out of their vehicle and took my lid. Since I live in a pretty rural area, there are very few potential culprits, unless of course, it was an outside-the-area felon. Somebody who'd been casing my garbage for a while and liked the look of my lid, and thought I was an easy target. I'm considering scoping out my neighborhood to see if I can identify my lid on somebody else's can. Clearly, I'm having some trouble getting past this, but I'm working on it.
A few days after the caper, I took my car in for its yearly inspection. This was a slam dunk: car is only 2 years old, with 16,000 miles on it. Incorrect. There was something wrong with my struts and my front end (oh so many possible cheap shots here, which I will let go).
After being diagnosed by a second service station, I was told it needed $589 worth of work. What???? I then took the car to the dealership because it was still under warranty (there is a God). The dealer told me that my struts were fine, but I was missing 2 bolts. At 60 cents each. I asked if the bolts came loose and just fell off.
"nope".
"Are you sure?"
"yup".
"Was this a factory omission?"
"nope"
Hmmmm
"are you saying somebody deliberately took these bolts out?"
"nope" (eye contact was lost at this point, so I knew he was lying).
"Hey, pal, off the record, just you and me - did somebody sabotage this vehicle?"
"well......"
I took the car back to the inspection place, and this time it passed with flying colors.
If I was a conspiracy theorist, I'd connect the garbage can lid with the missing bolts. Is that crazy?
Oh yeah, when I got back from the inspection, the furnace went out again. Still think I'm crazy?
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Thanksgiving
My Little Thanksgiving Day Miracle
Like the swallows to Capistrano, like the crowds for James Taylor at Tanglewood, my furnace conked out again. This is not an unusual event for me, as the furnace conks out frequently. So frequently in fact, that I know all the repair guys by name and have generously contributed to all of their childrens' college funds. This is the second time it's happened this winter, and it isn't even officially winter yet.
One of the main reasons I'm going to Florida for the winter is to avoid the stress of the furnace (or lack thereof). Seriously. It's also one of the reasons why I don't have a gun. I am a danger to my furnace.
This time, it conked out at some point, the day before Thanksgiving. Yes, a little cosmic joke. I knew it had happened again, because of that familiar chill in the air, and the eerie silence that happens when the furnace stops working. I'm used to this, but the day before Thanksgiving? Really? C'mon.
I was able to sleep Wednesday night, with lots of blankets and lots of wine. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I could see my breath. I considered getting into the oven with the turkey, but there was no room. I considered selling my car so I could afford an emergency Thanksgiving Day service call. I considered prayer, but settled for some first class swearing.
And now, my little Thanksgiving day miracle. With no expectation, I pushed the reset button that sometimes starts the damn thing, and yes, Elizabeth, it started. I know from experience that this occasionally happens and in a day or so it conks out again. But for now, for right now, my house is a toasty 72 degrees and I can take off my mittens.
Guess what I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day?
Like the swallows to Capistrano, like the crowds for James Taylor at Tanglewood, my furnace conked out again. This is not an unusual event for me, as the furnace conks out frequently. So frequently in fact, that I know all the repair guys by name and have generously contributed to all of their childrens' college funds. This is the second time it's happened this winter, and it isn't even officially winter yet.
One of the main reasons I'm going to Florida for the winter is to avoid the stress of the furnace (or lack thereof). Seriously. It's also one of the reasons why I don't have a gun. I am a danger to my furnace.
This time, it conked out at some point, the day before Thanksgiving. Yes, a little cosmic joke. I knew it had happened again, because of that familiar chill in the air, and the eerie silence that happens when the furnace stops working. I'm used to this, but the day before Thanksgiving? Really? C'mon.
I was able to sleep Wednesday night, with lots of blankets and lots of wine. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I could see my breath. I considered getting into the oven with the turkey, but there was no room. I considered selling my car so I could afford an emergency Thanksgiving Day service call. I considered prayer, but settled for some first class swearing.
And now, my little Thanksgiving day miracle. With no expectation, I pushed the reset button that sometimes starts the damn thing, and yes, Elizabeth, it started. I know from experience that this occasionally happens and in a day or so it conks out again. But for now, for right now, my house is a toasty 72 degrees and I can take off my mittens.
Guess what I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Bingo
I've been going to bingo regularly since I arrived. There are a group of 6 women who have befriended me, and they save me a seat every week. They're always happy to see me, which I don't take personally.
They're about sick of each other, and I'm the "new kid" on the block, and therefore a good diversion. They can't understand that I live in Massachusetts but not in Boston. Not even near Boston.
This week was my final bingo night. The Ladies yelled at me the whole time, because I'm leaving. Literally, not one nice word was said.
"Why would you go back there, it's snowing, I heard it on the news. Don't be stupid"
"It's so much nicer here, stay a little longer, what are you, stupid?"
It went on like this the whole time.
I felt the love.
I've been going to bingo regularly since I arrived. There are a group of 6 women who have befriended me, and they save me a seat every week. They're always happy to see me, which I don't take personally.
They're about sick of each other, and I'm the "new kid" on the block, and therefore a good diversion. They can't understand that I live in Massachusetts but not in Boston. Not even near Boston.
This week was my final bingo night. The Ladies yelled at me the whole time, because I'm leaving. Literally, not one nice word was said.
"Why would you go back there, it's snowing, I heard it on the news. Don't be stupid"
"It's so much nicer here, stay a little longer, what are you, stupid?"
It went on like this the whole time.
I felt the love.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Elizabeth Update
I was right on time to meet Elizabeth, figuring she'd need some moral support, and I was all ready to cheer her up. I was going to dust off my rusty social work skills, and become a combination of an empathic professional, and a sistah-friend.
Wrong.
It seems that the guy responded to our message, and they agreed to meet for coffee. They met in a public place (good girl Elizabeth) and had a really nice time. They talked for 2 hours.
Unfortunately, the guy lives in Colorado and Elizabeth lives in Massachusetts. But they plan to continue corresponding and if they both come to Florida again, they'll meet for more coffee (and maybe a donut!).
Don't you just love a happy ending?
I was right on time to meet Elizabeth, figuring she'd need some moral support, and I was all ready to cheer her up. I was going to dust off my rusty social work skills, and become a combination of an empathic professional, and a sistah-friend.
Wrong.
It seems that the guy responded to our message, and they agreed to meet for coffee. They met in a public place (good girl Elizabeth) and had a really nice time. They talked for 2 hours.
Unfortunately, the guy lives in Colorado and Elizabeth lives in Massachusetts. But they plan to continue corresponding and if they both come to Florida again, they'll meet for more coffee (and maybe a donut!).
Don't you just love a happy ending?
Monday, February 25, 2013
Elizabeth
This will be highly amusing to those of you who are aware of my computer abilities (or lack thereof).
Today I was leaving the pool and I was accosted (and I choose that word purposely) by a woman who was in the computer room. She was desperate for somebody to help her navigate a web site. She was imploring, pleading, yes, begging for help. I immediately connected with her desperation. I have been there so many times before. Screaming at the screen "what happened? Where did everything go?"
Her name is Elizabeth.
I told her I'd try and help, but my skills were severely limited. She didn't care, she was just happy to have a co-pilot. And, let's be honest here, I was dying to see what the site was that garnered such desperation.
It was a dating site called "OK Cupid" and it seems that Elizabeth had received a reply from a man who had tried to call her and couldn't get through. I should add that Elizabeth is no spring chicken, as the saying goes. I think it's safe to say that she has clear remembrances of WWII.
We discussed what she should reply to this man. She was so sweet and guileless, fearful of seeming "too forward" and scaring the guy away. Together we came up with an appropriate and short response. Elizabeth kept wanting to add more, trying to be "nice". To her credit, she accepted my firm feedback and kept it pithy. We pushed "send" and I had the strongest urge to jump up with a big high five, but I didn't want to scare her.
We have a date to meet tomorrow at noon, to see if the guy responded.
What I love about Elizabeth is that she's lived through so much advanced technology, and she's embraced it. She's jumped into the Internet and web dating for heaven's sake. She may be in the winter of her life, but the sun's still shining and she's still in the game. She's my hero.
As grateful as she was to me, I'm that much more so to her, for reminding me that it's okay to ask for help, that technology doesn't have to be that daunting, and that it's so rewarding to help somebody out.
I hope the guy responds, but if he doesn't, it's ok, I'll be there to cheer her up.
This will be highly amusing to those of you who are aware of my computer abilities (or lack thereof).
Today I was leaving the pool and I was accosted (and I choose that word purposely) by a woman who was in the computer room. She was desperate for somebody to help her navigate a web site. She was imploring, pleading, yes, begging for help. I immediately connected with her desperation. I have been there so many times before. Screaming at the screen "what happened? Where did everything go?"
Her name is Elizabeth.
I told her I'd try and help, but my skills were severely limited. She didn't care, she was just happy to have a co-pilot. And, let's be honest here, I was dying to see what the site was that garnered such desperation.
It was a dating site called "OK Cupid" and it seems that Elizabeth had received a reply from a man who had tried to call her and couldn't get through. I should add that Elizabeth is no spring chicken, as the saying goes. I think it's safe to say that she has clear remembrances of WWII.
We discussed what she should reply to this man. She was so sweet and guileless, fearful of seeming "too forward" and scaring the guy away. Together we came up with an appropriate and short response. Elizabeth kept wanting to add more, trying to be "nice". To her credit, she accepted my firm feedback and kept it pithy. We pushed "send" and I had the strongest urge to jump up with a big high five, but I didn't want to scare her.
We have a date to meet tomorrow at noon, to see if the guy responded.
What I love about Elizabeth is that she's lived through so much advanced technology, and she's embraced it. She's jumped into the Internet and web dating for heaven's sake. She may be in the winter of her life, but the sun's still shining and she's still in the game. She's my hero.
As grateful as she was to me, I'm that much more so to her, for reminding me that it's okay to ask for help, that technology doesn't have to be that daunting, and that it's so rewarding to help somebody out.
I hope the guy responds, but if he doesn't, it's ok, I'll be there to cheer her up.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Remembrances from Oscars past
I blame my mother. My first memory of watching the Oscars was when I was 7 years old and Grace Kelly won as Best Actress. She was like an angel, the most beautiful woman I ever saw, all blonde and pink, holding a gold statuette. On our black and white TV the blonde and the pink and the gold parts were all gray, but still...)
My mother thought it was an outrage that Judy Garland didn't win that year. Understand that my mother was usually pretty even-keeled and I never heard a swear word from her until I was a grown-up with my own grown childlren, and she said the "s" word. Mom didn't swear that night but it was indelibly imprinted in my brain, that this Oscar thing is some kind of big deal.
In later years we'd watch the Big Show and she'd tell me who was going out with whom and who was a drunk. For you kids out there they didn't have drug addicts or gay people in the 50s. They also didn't have the Internet, but I'm guessing you're still stuck on what a black and white TV means.
I think mom got her information from Photoplay Magazine, which was a precursor to Entertainment Weekly. Either that or she just made it up. I was 12, how would I know. When Eddie left Debbie it was like a death in the family.
This Sunday is Oscar night, which I consider a national holiday. I celebrate by surrounding myself with my favorite junk foods, turning off the phone and watching pre-game shows starting at noon - going right through to the after-party on "E". I take the next day off to recoup and finish the leftover junk food. See now, I lied. There's rarely junk food left over. The rest, though, is true.
I used to host a big party on Oscar night, but when I found out that people wanted to talk during the show, well, that was the end of that. There's no talking during the Oscars - only during commercials. And with a DVR there aren't even commercials!
These days we're inundated with award shows. Make no mistake I watch them all. Some of the bloom is off the rose when the same people win the Globes, Sags, Independent Spirits, Critic's Choice, People's Choice and on and on. But then again, there are football games every Sunday (and Monday and some Saturdays), but there's only one Super Bowl.
Mom's gone now, but I feel her spirit with me on this night of nights. She taught me to love the movies and I'm grateful for that. So pop the cork and the corn, and settle in - it's gonna be a great show.
I blame my mother. My first memory of watching the Oscars was when I was 7 years old and Grace Kelly won as Best Actress. She was like an angel, the most beautiful woman I ever saw, all blonde and pink, holding a gold statuette. On our black and white TV the blonde and the pink and the gold parts were all gray, but still...)
My mother thought it was an outrage that Judy Garland didn't win that year. Understand that my mother was usually pretty even-keeled and I never heard a swear word from her until I was a grown-up with my own grown childlren, and she said the "s" word. Mom didn't swear that night but it was indelibly imprinted in my brain, that this Oscar thing is some kind of big deal.
In later years we'd watch the Big Show and she'd tell me who was going out with whom and who was a drunk. For you kids out there they didn't have drug addicts or gay people in the 50s. They also didn't have the Internet, but I'm guessing you're still stuck on what a black and white TV means.
I think mom got her information from Photoplay Magazine, which was a precursor to Entertainment Weekly. Either that or she just made it up. I was 12, how would I know. When Eddie left Debbie it was like a death in the family.
This Sunday is Oscar night, which I consider a national holiday. I celebrate by surrounding myself with my favorite junk foods, turning off the phone and watching pre-game shows starting at noon - going right through to the after-party on "E". I take the next day off to recoup and finish the leftover junk food. See now, I lied. There's rarely junk food left over. The rest, though, is true.
I used to host a big party on Oscar night, but when I found out that people wanted to talk during the show, well, that was the end of that. There's no talking during the Oscars - only during commercials. And with a DVR there aren't even commercials!
These days we're inundated with award shows. Make no mistake I watch them all. Some of the bloom is off the rose when the same people win the Globes, Sags, Independent Spirits, Critic's Choice, People's Choice and on and on. But then again, there are football games every Sunday (and Monday and some Saturdays), but there's only one Super Bowl.
Mom's gone now, but I feel her spirit with me on this night of nights. She taught me to love the movies and I'm grateful for that. So pop the cork and the corn, and settle in - it's gonna be a great show.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
SNOWBIRD,FREEBIRD - Oscar Predictions
I know you've been anxiously waiting for this year's predictions, so here we go.
I decided to separate who I think will win from whom I think should win, because this is my list and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Full disclosure: I only saw 6 out of the 9 Best Movie nominees. I passed on Django and Zero Dark Thirty, because I don't like to watch torture. I didn't see Life Of Pi, because I just didn't want to. My list, remember?
I saw all the best Actor and Supporting Actress movies, and most of the Actress (no Chastain), Supporting Actor (no Waltz), and best Directors (no Ang Lee).
Best Actress: Naomi Watts should win. Her performance was beyond beyond. What she accomplished reminds me of the work Meryl did in Sophie's Choice. Just a class above everybody else. Naomi was fierce and her performance was shattering. I think Jennifer Lawrence will win - she's Hollywood's "It" girl.
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis. Period. The end.
Supporting Actress: Will and should win: Anne Hathaway. In the scene where she's singing The Song, there's a split second where you can actually see the hope leave her eyes. It's amazing. Her voice is great, but the eyes have it.
Supporting Actor: Should be DeNiro - a great job of inhabiting his character, without a lot of pyrotechnics. I think it will be Tommie Lee. I admit to a bias against him. To me, he's in the Harrison Ford School of Humorless Men. I have a hard time with people who can't find the funny.
Best Director: Ben Affleck. Oh, that's right. OK, should be him, but it will be Spielberg. Lincoln was a well-constructed film, just a little dry for my taste. I like to be moved in my movies - and Lincoln was a bit of a snooze-fest for me.
Best Movie: Should and will be Argo. It was my favorite movie of the year. Rewarding this movie, in light of the ridiculous oversight of its director, is the perfect Hollywood ending.
Can't wait to here Adele sing, I think Seth MacFarlane will be great, and the red carpet is always a highlight for me (as is the after-party on "E"). I'm loading up on Chinese food and chocolate. This is the best night of the year for me - and I hope it's enjoyable for you too.
Let me know what you think of my list.
I know you've been anxiously waiting for this year's predictions, so here we go.
I decided to separate who I think will win from whom I think should win, because this is my list and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Full disclosure: I only saw 6 out of the 9 Best Movie nominees. I passed on Django and Zero Dark Thirty, because I don't like to watch torture. I didn't see Life Of Pi, because I just didn't want to. My list, remember?
I saw all the best Actor and Supporting Actress movies, and most of the Actress (no Chastain), Supporting Actor (no Waltz), and best Directors (no Ang Lee).
Best Actress: Naomi Watts should win. Her performance was beyond beyond. What she accomplished reminds me of the work Meryl did in Sophie's Choice. Just a class above everybody else. Naomi was fierce and her performance was shattering. I think Jennifer Lawrence will win - she's Hollywood's "It" girl.
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis. Period. The end.
Supporting Actress: Will and should win: Anne Hathaway. In the scene where she's singing The Song, there's a split second where you can actually see the hope leave her eyes. It's amazing. Her voice is great, but the eyes have it.
Supporting Actor: Should be DeNiro - a great job of inhabiting his character, without a lot of pyrotechnics. I think it will be Tommie Lee. I admit to a bias against him. To me, he's in the Harrison Ford School of Humorless Men. I have a hard time with people who can't find the funny.
Best Director: Ben Affleck. Oh, that's right. OK, should be him, but it will be Spielberg. Lincoln was a well-constructed film, just a little dry for my taste. I like to be moved in my movies - and Lincoln was a bit of a snooze-fest for me.
Best Movie: Should and will be Argo. It was my favorite movie of the year. Rewarding this movie, in light of the ridiculous oversight of its director, is the perfect Hollywood ending.
Can't wait to here Adele sing, I think Seth MacFarlane will be great, and the red carpet is always a highlight for me (as is the after-party on "E"). I'm loading up on Chinese food and chocolate. This is the best night of the year for me - and I hope it's enjoyable for you too.
Let me know what you think of my list.
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