The Mystery
It all started with the stolen garbage can lid. I left my garbage at the end of the driveway, like I've been doing for 18 years. The garbage guys are reliable, some a little neater than others, but basically I'd say I'm very pleased with the standards of my refuse removal.
This week, somebody took my garbage can lid. No, it didn't blow away. No, I didn't forget it. Somebody actually slowed down, stopped in the road, got out of their vehicle and took my lid. Since I live in a pretty rural area, there are very few potential culprits, unless of course, it was an outside-the-area felon. Somebody who'd been casing my garbage for a while and liked the look of my lid, and thought I was an easy target. I'm considering scoping out my neighborhood to see if I can identify my lid on somebody else's can. Clearly, I'm having some trouble getting past this, but I'm working on it.
A few days after the caper, I took my car in for its yearly inspection. This was a slam dunk: car is only 2 years old, with 16,000 miles on it. Incorrect. There was something wrong with my struts and my front end (oh so many possible cheap shots here, which I will let go).
After being diagnosed by a second service station, I was told it needed $589 worth of work. What???? I then took the car to the dealership because it was still under warranty (there is a God). The dealer told me that my struts were fine, but I was missing 2 bolts. At 60 cents each. I asked if the bolts came loose and just fell off.
"nope".
"Are you sure?"
"yup".
"Was this a factory omission?"
"nope"
Hmmmm
"are you saying somebody deliberately took these bolts out?"
"nope" (eye contact was lost at this point, so I knew he was lying).
"Hey, pal, off the record, just you and me - did somebody sabotage this vehicle?"
"well......"
I took the car back to the inspection place, and this time it passed with flying colors.
If I was a conspiracy theorist, I'd connect the garbage can lid with the missing bolts. Is that crazy?
Oh yeah, when I got back from the inspection, the furnace went out again. Still think I'm crazy?
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Thanksgiving
My Little Thanksgiving Day Miracle
Like the swallows to Capistrano, like the crowds for James Taylor at Tanglewood, my furnace conked out again. This is not an unusual event for me, as the furnace conks out frequently. So frequently in fact, that I know all the repair guys by name and have generously contributed to all of their childrens' college funds. This is the second time it's happened this winter, and it isn't even officially winter yet.
One of the main reasons I'm going to Florida for the winter is to avoid the stress of the furnace (or lack thereof). Seriously. It's also one of the reasons why I don't have a gun. I am a danger to my furnace.
This time, it conked out at some point, the day before Thanksgiving. Yes, a little cosmic joke. I knew it had happened again, because of that familiar chill in the air, and the eerie silence that happens when the furnace stops working. I'm used to this, but the day before Thanksgiving? Really? C'mon.
I was able to sleep Wednesday night, with lots of blankets and lots of wine. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I could see my breath. I considered getting into the oven with the turkey, but there was no room. I considered selling my car so I could afford an emergency Thanksgiving Day service call. I considered prayer, but settled for some first class swearing.
And now, my little Thanksgiving day miracle. With no expectation, I pushed the reset button that sometimes starts the damn thing, and yes, Elizabeth, it started. I know from experience that this occasionally happens and in a day or so it conks out again. But for now, for right now, my house is a toasty 72 degrees and I can take off my mittens.
Guess what I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day?
Like the swallows to Capistrano, like the crowds for James Taylor at Tanglewood, my furnace conked out again. This is not an unusual event for me, as the furnace conks out frequently. So frequently in fact, that I know all the repair guys by name and have generously contributed to all of their childrens' college funds. This is the second time it's happened this winter, and it isn't even officially winter yet.
One of the main reasons I'm going to Florida for the winter is to avoid the stress of the furnace (or lack thereof). Seriously. It's also one of the reasons why I don't have a gun. I am a danger to my furnace.
This time, it conked out at some point, the day before Thanksgiving. Yes, a little cosmic joke. I knew it had happened again, because of that familiar chill in the air, and the eerie silence that happens when the furnace stops working. I'm used to this, but the day before Thanksgiving? Really? C'mon.
I was able to sleep Wednesday night, with lots of blankets and lots of wine. When I woke up on Thursday morning, I could see my breath. I considered getting into the oven with the turkey, but there was no room. I considered selling my car so I could afford an emergency Thanksgiving Day service call. I considered prayer, but settled for some first class swearing.
And now, my little Thanksgiving day miracle. With no expectation, I pushed the reset button that sometimes starts the damn thing, and yes, Elizabeth, it started. I know from experience that this occasionally happens and in a day or so it conks out again. But for now, for right now, my house is a toasty 72 degrees and I can take off my mittens.
Guess what I'm thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Bingo
I've been going to bingo regularly since I arrived. There are a group of 6 women who have befriended me, and they save me a seat every week. They're always happy to see me, which I don't take personally.
They're about sick of each other, and I'm the "new kid" on the block, and therefore a good diversion. They can't understand that I live in Massachusetts but not in Boston. Not even near Boston.
This week was my final bingo night. The Ladies yelled at me the whole time, because I'm leaving. Literally, not one nice word was said.
"Why would you go back there, it's snowing, I heard it on the news. Don't be stupid"
"It's so much nicer here, stay a little longer, what are you, stupid?"
It went on like this the whole time.
I felt the love.
I've been going to bingo regularly since I arrived. There are a group of 6 women who have befriended me, and they save me a seat every week. They're always happy to see me, which I don't take personally.
They're about sick of each other, and I'm the "new kid" on the block, and therefore a good diversion. They can't understand that I live in Massachusetts but not in Boston. Not even near Boston.
This week was my final bingo night. The Ladies yelled at me the whole time, because I'm leaving. Literally, not one nice word was said.
"Why would you go back there, it's snowing, I heard it on the news. Don't be stupid"
"It's so much nicer here, stay a little longer, what are you, stupid?"
It went on like this the whole time.
I felt the love.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Elizabeth Update
I was right on time to meet Elizabeth, figuring she'd need some moral support, and I was all ready to cheer her up. I was going to dust off my rusty social work skills, and become a combination of an empathic professional, and a sistah-friend.
Wrong.
It seems that the guy responded to our message, and they agreed to meet for coffee. They met in a public place (good girl Elizabeth) and had a really nice time. They talked for 2 hours.
Unfortunately, the guy lives in Colorado and Elizabeth lives in Massachusetts. But they plan to continue corresponding and if they both come to Florida again, they'll meet for more coffee (and maybe a donut!).
Don't you just love a happy ending?
I was right on time to meet Elizabeth, figuring she'd need some moral support, and I was all ready to cheer her up. I was going to dust off my rusty social work skills, and become a combination of an empathic professional, and a sistah-friend.
Wrong.
It seems that the guy responded to our message, and they agreed to meet for coffee. They met in a public place (good girl Elizabeth) and had a really nice time. They talked for 2 hours.
Unfortunately, the guy lives in Colorado and Elizabeth lives in Massachusetts. But they plan to continue corresponding and if they both come to Florida again, they'll meet for more coffee (and maybe a donut!).
Don't you just love a happy ending?
Monday, February 25, 2013
Elizabeth
This will be highly amusing to those of you who are aware of my computer abilities (or lack thereof).
Today I was leaving the pool and I was accosted (and I choose that word purposely) by a woman who was in the computer room. She was desperate for somebody to help her navigate a web site. She was imploring, pleading, yes, begging for help. I immediately connected with her desperation. I have been there so many times before. Screaming at the screen "what happened? Where did everything go?"
Her name is Elizabeth.
I told her I'd try and help, but my skills were severely limited. She didn't care, she was just happy to have a co-pilot. And, let's be honest here, I was dying to see what the site was that garnered such desperation.
It was a dating site called "OK Cupid" and it seems that Elizabeth had received a reply from a man who had tried to call her and couldn't get through. I should add that Elizabeth is no spring chicken, as the saying goes. I think it's safe to say that she has clear remembrances of WWII.
We discussed what she should reply to this man. She was so sweet and guileless, fearful of seeming "too forward" and scaring the guy away. Together we came up with an appropriate and short response. Elizabeth kept wanting to add more, trying to be "nice". To her credit, she accepted my firm feedback and kept it pithy. We pushed "send" and I had the strongest urge to jump up with a big high five, but I didn't want to scare her.
We have a date to meet tomorrow at noon, to see if the guy responded.
What I love about Elizabeth is that she's lived through so much advanced technology, and she's embraced it. She's jumped into the Internet and web dating for heaven's sake. She may be in the winter of her life, but the sun's still shining and she's still in the game. She's my hero.
As grateful as she was to me, I'm that much more so to her, for reminding me that it's okay to ask for help, that technology doesn't have to be that daunting, and that it's so rewarding to help somebody out.
I hope the guy responds, but if he doesn't, it's ok, I'll be there to cheer her up.
This will be highly amusing to those of you who are aware of my computer abilities (or lack thereof).
Today I was leaving the pool and I was accosted (and I choose that word purposely) by a woman who was in the computer room. She was desperate for somebody to help her navigate a web site. She was imploring, pleading, yes, begging for help. I immediately connected with her desperation. I have been there so many times before. Screaming at the screen "what happened? Where did everything go?"
Her name is Elizabeth.
I told her I'd try and help, but my skills were severely limited. She didn't care, she was just happy to have a co-pilot. And, let's be honest here, I was dying to see what the site was that garnered such desperation.
It was a dating site called "OK Cupid" and it seems that Elizabeth had received a reply from a man who had tried to call her and couldn't get through. I should add that Elizabeth is no spring chicken, as the saying goes. I think it's safe to say that she has clear remembrances of WWII.
We discussed what she should reply to this man. She was so sweet and guileless, fearful of seeming "too forward" and scaring the guy away. Together we came up with an appropriate and short response. Elizabeth kept wanting to add more, trying to be "nice". To her credit, she accepted my firm feedback and kept it pithy. We pushed "send" and I had the strongest urge to jump up with a big high five, but I didn't want to scare her.
We have a date to meet tomorrow at noon, to see if the guy responded.
What I love about Elizabeth is that she's lived through so much advanced technology, and she's embraced it. She's jumped into the Internet and web dating for heaven's sake. She may be in the winter of her life, but the sun's still shining and she's still in the game. She's my hero.
As grateful as she was to me, I'm that much more so to her, for reminding me that it's okay to ask for help, that technology doesn't have to be that daunting, and that it's so rewarding to help somebody out.
I hope the guy responds, but if he doesn't, it's ok, I'll be there to cheer her up.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Remembrances from Oscars past
I blame my mother. My first memory of watching the Oscars was when I was 7 years old and Grace Kelly won as Best Actress. She was like an angel, the most beautiful woman I ever saw, all blonde and pink, holding a gold statuette. On our black and white TV the blonde and the pink and the gold parts were all gray, but still...)
My mother thought it was an outrage that Judy Garland didn't win that year. Understand that my mother was usually pretty even-keeled and I never heard a swear word from her until I was a grown-up with my own grown childlren, and she said the "s" word. Mom didn't swear that night but it was indelibly imprinted in my brain, that this Oscar thing is some kind of big deal.
In later years we'd watch the Big Show and she'd tell me who was going out with whom and who was a drunk. For you kids out there they didn't have drug addicts or gay people in the 50s. They also didn't have the Internet, but I'm guessing you're still stuck on what a black and white TV means.
I think mom got her information from Photoplay Magazine, which was a precursor to Entertainment Weekly. Either that or she just made it up. I was 12, how would I know. When Eddie left Debbie it was like a death in the family.
This Sunday is Oscar night, which I consider a national holiday. I celebrate by surrounding myself with my favorite junk foods, turning off the phone and watching pre-game shows starting at noon - going right through to the after-party on "E". I take the next day off to recoup and finish the leftover junk food. See now, I lied. There's rarely junk food left over. The rest, though, is true.
I used to host a big party on Oscar night, but when I found out that people wanted to talk during the show, well, that was the end of that. There's no talking during the Oscars - only during commercials. And with a DVR there aren't even commercials!
These days we're inundated with award shows. Make no mistake I watch them all. Some of the bloom is off the rose when the same people win the Globes, Sags, Independent Spirits, Critic's Choice, People's Choice and on and on. But then again, there are football games every Sunday (and Monday and some Saturdays), but there's only one Super Bowl.
Mom's gone now, but I feel her spirit with me on this night of nights. She taught me to love the movies and I'm grateful for that. So pop the cork and the corn, and settle in - it's gonna be a great show.
I blame my mother. My first memory of watching the Oscars was when I was 7 years old and Grace Kelly won as Best Actress. She was like an angel, the most beautiful woman I ever saw, all blonde and pink, holding a gold statuette. On our black and white TV the blonde and the pink and the gold parts were all gray, but still...)
My mother thought it was an outrage that Judy Garland didn't win that year. Understand that my mother was usually pretty even-keeled and I never heard a swear word from her until I was a grown-up with my own grown childlren, and she said the "s" word. Mom didn't swear that night but it was indelibly imprinted in my brain, that this Oscar thing is some kind of big deal.
In later years we'd watch the Big Show and she'd tell me who was going out with whom and who was a drunk. For you kids out there they didn't have drug addicts or gay people in the 50s. They also didn't have the Internet, but I'm guessing you're still stuck on what a black and white TV means.
I think mom got her information from Photoplay Magazine, which was a precursor to Entertainment Weekly. Either that or she just made it up. I was 12, how would I know. When Eddie left Debbie it was like a death in the family.
This Sunday is Oscar night, which I consider a national holiday. I celebrate by surrounding myself with my favorite junk foods, turning off the phone and watching pre-game shows starting at noon - going right through to the after-party on "E". I take the next day off to recoup and finish the leftover junk food. See now, I lied. There's rarely junk food left over. The rest, though, is true.
I used to host a big party on Oscar night, but when I found out that people wanted to talk during the show, well, that was the end of that. There's no talking during the Oscars - only during commercials. And with a DVR there aren't even commercials!
These days we're inundated with award shows. Make no mistake I watch them all. Some of the bloom is off the rose when the same people win the Globes, Sags, Independent Spirits, Critic's Choice, People's Choice and on and on. But then again, there are football games every Sunday (and Monday and some Saturdays), but there's only one Super Bowl.
Mom's gone now, but I feel her spirit with me on this night of nights. She taught me to love the movies and I'm grateful for that. So pop the cork and the corn, and settle in - it's gonna be a great show.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
SNOWBIRD,FREEBIRD - Oscar Predictions
I know you've been anxiously waiting for this year's predictions, so here we go.
I decided to separate who I think will win from whom I think should win, because this is my list and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Full disclosure: I only saw 6 out of the 9 Best Movie nominees. I passed on Django and Zero Dark Thirty, because I don't like to watch torture. I didn't see Life Of Pi, because I just didn't want to. My list, remember?
I saw all the best Actor and Supporting Actress movies, and most of the Actress (no Chastain), Supporting Actor (no Waltz), and best Directors (no Ang Lee).
Best Actress: Naomi Watts should win. Her performance was beyond beyond. What she accomplished reminds me of the work Meryl did in Sophie's Choice. Just a class above everybody else. Naomi was fierce and her performance was shattering. I think Jennifer Lawrence will win - she's Hollywood's "It" girl.
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis. Period. The end.
Supporting Actress: Will and should win: Anne Hathaway. In the scene where she's singing The Song, there's a split second where you can actually see the hope leave her eyes. It's amazing. Her voice is great, but the eyes have it.
Supporting Actor: Should be DeNiro - a great job of inhabiting his character, without a lot of pyrotechnics. I think it will be Tommie Lee. I admit to a bias against him. To me, he's in the Harrison Ford School of Humorless Men. I have a hard time with people who can't find the funny.
Best Director: Ben Affleck. Oh, that's right. OK, should be him, but it will be Spielberg. Lincoln was a well-constructed film, just a little dry for my taste. I like to be moved in my movies - and Lincoln was a bit of a snooze-fest for me.
Best Movie: Should and will be Argo. It was my favorite movie of the year. Rewarding this movie, in light of the ridiculous oversight of its director, is the perfect Hollywood ending.
Can't wait to here Adele sing, I think Seth MacFarlane will be great, and the red carpet is always a highlight for me (as is the after-party on "E"). I'm loading up on Chinese food and chocolate. This is the best night of the year for me - and I hope it's enjoyable for you too.
Let me know what you think of my list.
I know you've been anxiously waiting for this year's predictions, so here we go.
I decided to separate who I think will win from whom I think should win, because this is my list and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Full disclosure: I only saw 6 out of the 9 Best Movie nominees. I passed on Django and Zero Dark Thirty, because I don't like to watch torture. I didn't see Life Of Pi, because I just didn't want to. My list, remember?
I saw all the best Actor and Supporting Actress movies, and most of the Actress (no Chastain), Supporting Actor (no Waltz), and best Directors (no Ang Lee).
Best Actress: Naomi Watts should win. Her performance was beyond beyond. What she accomplished reminds me of the work Meryl did in Sophie's Choice. Just a class above everybody else. Naomi was fierce and her performance was shattering. I think Jennifer Lawrence will win - she's Hollywood's "It" girl.
Best Actor: Daniel Day Lewis. Period. The end.
Supporting Actress: Will and should win: Anne Hathaway. In the scene where she's singing The Song, there's a split second where you can actually see the hope leave her eyes. It's amazing. Her voice is great, but the eyes have it.
Supporting Actor: Should be DeNiro - a great job of inhabiting his character, without a lot of pyrotechnics. I think it will be Tommie Lee. I admit to a bias against him. To me, he's in the Harrison Ford School of Humorless Men. I have a hard time with people who can't find the funny.
Best Director: Ben Affleck. Oh, that's right. OK, should be him, but it will be Spielberg. Lincoln was a well-constructed film, just a little dry for my taste. I like to be moved in my movies - and Lincoln was a bit of a snooze-fest for me.
Best Movie: Should and will be Argo. It was my favorite movie of the year. Rewarding this movie, in light of the ridiculous oversight of its director, is the perfect Hollywood ending.
Can't wait to here Adele sing, I think Seth MacFarlane will be great, and the red carpet is always a highlight for me (as is the after-party on "E"). I'm loading up on Chinese food and chocolate. This is the best night of the year for me - and I hope it's enjoyable for you too.
Let me know what you think of my list.
Friday, January 25, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird - #7 1-25-13
The Saga of the Mail and What It's Taught Me
I, like most people, take so much for granted. Turn on the tap, poof: water. Flip the switch, poof: lights. Go to the grocery, chicken is all cleaned and packaged.
I bet you rarely even think about, much less appreciate, getting your mail. Sometimes there are bills, and that's not fun. And sometimes there's a birthday card from grandma. Sometimes it's a magazine you subscribe to, and sometimes it's an 8 pound seed catalog. The whole idea of mail is probably an anachronism, but I bet you still get mail. What do you think would happen to you if your mail just stopped coming?
So here I am, 1400 miles from home, having dutifully filled out my temporary change of address card before I left, naively thinking I would actually receive my mail at some point, in my temporary home. Ah, if only. I have spoken to more postal workers than I ever thought I would (or should). I even have a case number with the postal service - pretty official, right? I've been to the local post office in person, I've stalked the local carrier, hoping for some sympathy and understanding. I was on hold for 47 minutes with the Miami Consumer Affairs Office, whose voice message assured me that my call was important to them and I would be speaking with the next available representative "shortly". The 47 minutes wouldn't have been so bad, except every minute and a half I'd hear how important my call was.
Nobody knows what the problem is, they're all pointing their fingers at each other. Bottom line is: no mail.
Today I made a monumental decision. I have given up the fight. Uncle I cry. Today I made the choice to give in to what it is, rather than insisting it be what I want it to be. Instead of agonizing about what I'm missing about my missing mail, I have decided not to engage in this fruitless endeavor. I've always been a windmill tilter, fighting for the principle of things. That's gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit. What I'm learning is that not every fight is worth fighting. The satisfaction doesn't have to come from getting what I think I deserve, or have a right to - the satisfaction comes from letting go.
So I will notify the post office to keep sending my mail to my home address, and stop the madness of trying to get mail sent to Florida. I will ask my son to check the mail, notify me of the important stuff, and hang onto the rest.
And when I get home, I will bring some cookies into the post office and personally thank them all for doing their jobs so well, that I forgot to notice.
The Saga of the Mail and What It's Taught Me
I, like most people, take so much for granted. Turn on the tap, poof: water. Flip the switch, poof: lights. Go to the grocery, chicken is all cleaned and packaged.
I bet you rarely even think about, much less appreciate, getting your mail. Sometimes there are bills, and that's not fun. And sometimes there's a birthday card from grandma. Sometimes it's a magazine you subscribe to, and sometimes it's an 8 pound seed catalog. The whole idea of mail is probably an anachronism, but I bet you still get mail. What do you think would happen to you if your mail just stopped coming?
So here I am, 1400 miles from home, having dutifully filled out my temporary change of address card before I left, naively thinking I would actually receive my mail at some point, in my temporary home. Ah, if only. I have spoken to more postal workers than I ever thought I would (or should). I even have a case number with the postal service - pretty official, right? I've been to the local post office in person, I've stalked the local carrier, hoping for some sympathy and understanding. I was on hold for 47 minutes with the Miami Consumer Affairs Office, whose voice message assured me that my call was important to them and I would be speaking with the next available representative "shortly". The 47 minutes wouldn't have been so bad, except every minute and a half I'd hear how important my call was.
Nobody knows what the problem is, they're all pointing their fingers at each other. Bottom line is: no mail.
Today I made a monumental decision. I have given up the fight. Uncle I cry. Today I made the choice to give in to what it is, rather than insisting it be what I want it to be. Instead of agonizing about what I'm missing about my missing mail, I have decided not to engage in this fruitless endeavor. I've always been a windmill tilter, fighting for the principle of things. That's gotten me into more trouble than I care to admit. What I'm learning is that not every fight is worth fighting. The satisfaction doesn't have to come from getting what I think I deserve, or have a right to - the satisfaction comes from letting go.
So I will notify the post office to keep sending my mail to my home address, and stop the madness of trying to get mail sent to Florida. I will ask my son to check the mail, notify me of the important stuff, and hang onto the rest.
And when I get home, I will bring some cookies into the post office and personally thank them all for doing their jobs so well, that I forgot to notice.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird - 1/7/13 #6
So here it is, Monday and the day the supervisor is going to come and give me a DVR box. I was told they would call before noon. At 11 I could wait no longer and called them. I spoke w/Crystal at Harry's. "Hi Crystal, I'm just checking on when your supervisor will be coming to set up by DVR box". I was on hold for a while, Crystal comes back and says - "there's no notes about anybody coming to your house. You're set for hookup on January 14th". Oh God. I took some deep cleansing breaths and explained to Crystal that the 14th is no longer in play, as the guys were already here, and told me that today the supervisor was coming to put me out of my misery.
Crystal had no idea what I was talking about. More deep breaths. Then there's a knock on my door and guess who? The same cable guy who was here on Saturday (with a new helper). Cut to the chase, no I cannot ever have a DVR box. But, I now have 82, count 'em 82 channels. I practicallly hugged them. The new guy (this was his second day) looked like he was rethinking his job choice. Hopefully it was explained to him that not every customer gets this enthused. Or maybe they do. Who knows. Anyway, it's over, the long nightmare is over.
Now my goal is to find the beach. My inability to find my way around is legendary. Hi, my name is Phyllis and I am Navigationally Challenged. The GPS is the greatest invention since Velcro and the DVR (hey, I'm workin' on it). I know I am in southern Florida, in a town that has the word "beach" in it, yet I cannot seem to actually find the beach - you know the place with the sand and the water. I think I was really close at one point because I saw people walking on the street with chairs and towels.
I look at it this way, at least I have a goal. I no longer have cable to obsess about, so finding the beach seems to me to be the next logical move. Wish me well, I have sunscreen and focus. I will find the beach.
So here it is, Monday and the day the supervisor is going to come and give me a DVR box. I was told they would call before noon. At 11 I could wait no longer and called them. I spoke w/Crystal at Harry's. "Hi Crystal, I'm just checking on when your supervisor will be coming to set up by DVR box". I was on hold for a while, Crystal comes back and says - "there's no notes about anybody coming to your house. You're set for hookup on January 14th". Oh God. I took some deep cleansing breaths and explained to Crystal that the 14th is no longer in play, as the guys were already here, and told me that today the supervisor was coming to put me out of my misery.
Crystal had no idea what I was talking about. More deep breaths. Then there's a knock on my door and guess who? The same cable guy who was here on Saturday (with a new helper). Cut to the chase, no I cannot ever have a DVR box. But, I now have 82, count 'em 82 channels. I practicallly hugged them. The new guy (this was his second day) looked like he was rethinking his job choice. Hopefully it was explained to him that not every customer gets this enthused. Or maybe they do. Who knows. Anyway, it's over, the long nightmare is over.
Now my goal is to find the beach. My inability to find my way around is legendary. Hi, my name is Phyllis and I am Navigationally Challenged. The GPS is the greatest invention since Velcro and the DVR (hey, I'm workin' on it). I know I am in southern Florida, in a town that has the word "beach" in it, yet I cannot seem to actually find the beach - you know the place with the sand and the water. I think I was really close at one point because I saw people walking on the street with chairs and towels.
I look at it this way, at least I have a goal. I no longer have cable to obsess about, so finding the beach seems to me to be the next logical move. Wish me well, I have sunscreen and focus. I will find the beach.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird - 1/7/13 #5
I know you're on the edge of your seats to find out if I got cable. Well, I got internet access. It's not wireless, because they don't have that at Harry's Fly By Night Cable Company, something they did not tell me when I begged them to come and hook me up. I did get a modem, so I don't have to shlep to the Clubhouse every day. I'm trying to be more flexible and appreciative of what I do have rather than what I don't.
They also couldn't set up my DVR. That's because the flammerjammer didn't mesh with the blugendorfer. I do know that after 2 1/2 hours they cried "uncle" and told me that their supervisor will need to come himself to figure this out. They assured me it's doable, but not by them.
Their supervisor. Really? I like to think of this man as the Wizard of Oz. He's merely a voice behind a curtain. I was promised that he'll call me "first thing on Monday". Hahahahahahahaha.
There is a TV in the bedroom here, that gets some basic channels. It's old, but it works. There's a remote that doesn't work. So here's my question: if a TV is old will a universal remote work? Or, is there a way to get the same brand remote for an old TV? If a tree falls in the forest.....
I'm learning a few things about myself here. I already knew that I hate the snow and the cold. I'm learning that I also miss the rain. I love the rain. It doesn't seem to rain in southern Florida, at least not in January.
I'm finding that I am definitely a small-town gal. The traffic here is crazy. I'm used to being able to travel 20 miles and not even pass any traffic lights. Here it's hard to go 20 feet without lights.
The news here is scary. Lots of shootings, and violent crimes. I checked the Berkshire Eagle today and one of the headlines is "Stolen parrot found in Pittsfield". Now that's my kinda news. Wait until my cable gets hooked up, now that's some good news.
Stay tuned.
I know you're on the edge of your seats to find out if I got cable. Well, I got internet access. It's not wireless, because they don't have that at Harry's Fly By Night Cable Company, something they did not tell me when I begged them to come and hook me up. I did get a modem, so I don't have to shlep to the Clubhouse every day. I'm trying to be more flexible and appreciative of what I do have rather than what I don't.
They also couldn't set up my DVR. That's because the flammerjammer didn't mesh with the blugendorfer. I do know that after 2 1/2 hours they cried "uncle" and told me that their supervisor will need to come himself to figure this out. They assured me it's doable, but not by them.
Their supervisor. Really? I like to think of this man as the Wizard of Oz. He's merely a voice behind a curtain. I was promised that he'll call me "first thing on Monday". Hahahahahahahaha.
There is a TV in the bedroom here, that gets some basic channels. It's old, but it works. There's a remote that doesn't work. So here's my question: if a TV is old will a universal remote work? Or, is there a way to get the same brand remote for an old TV? If a tree falls in the forest.....
I'm learning a few things about myself here. I already knew that I hate the snow and the cold. I'm learning that I also miss the rain. I love the rain. It doesn't seem to rain in southern Florida, at least not in January.
I'm finding that I am definitely a small-town gal. The traffic here is crazy. I'm used to being able to travel 20 miles and not even pass any traffic lights. Here it's hard to go 20 feet without lights.
The news here is scary. Lots of shootings, and violent crimes. I checked the Berkshire Eagle today and one of the headlines is "Stolen parrot found in Pittsfield". Now that's my kinda news. Wait until my cable gets hooked up, now that's some good news.
Stay tuned.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird - 1/3/13
I've been here for 2 full days now and I've discovered some things of interest. The owners of this condo have some odd quirks. For example, there is no kitchen garbage can. There's a tiny wicker basket, but it has no liner and a can of soup and an apple core would fill it up. Did these people not produce any garbage? Is that possible? How could they live like that?
There are no drinking glasses, you know, for like water or juice or soda. There are mugs and fancy wine glasses, but no regular glasses. No beverages and no garbage. Huh.
There are, however, decorative items on every flat surface. Figurines, vases, bowls, candles, an African warrior with a sword. Come to think of it, if I had a water glass there's no place I could put it.
I've learned it feels weird to live in a stranger's home. They left stuff in the fridge. I don't want to drink the Stoli or the one Bud Light. I also don't want to throw it out. So it cohabitates along with my broccoli, my eggs and my butter. Why didn't they leave butter? There are many, many, many rolls of toilet paper. I brought my own, is that stupid? Am I supposed to use theirs? What is the etiquette around this? So much to learn. I'll google it.
I want to be a good renter. It took me right back to 4th grade when I was Miss Levy's favorite student and she told my mother how bright and sweet I was. That's when my good girl personna really blossomed. It's important that people like me -even strangers who I'll never meet. Tell me doctor, is that wrong?
Siri and I are going to explore the beach today. Maybe pick up a garbage can and some drinking glasses.
I've been here for 2 full days now and I've discovered some things of interest. The owners of this condo have some odd quirks. For example, there is no kitchen garbage can. There's a tiny wicker basket, but it has no liner and a can of soup and an apple core would fill it up. Did these people not produce any garbage? Is that possible? How could they live like that?
There are no drinking glasses, you know, for like water or juice or soda. There are mugs and fancy wine glasses, but no regular glasses. No beverages and no garbage. Huh.
There are, however, decorative items on every flat surface. Figurines, vases, bowls, candles, an African warrior with a sword. Come to think of it, if I had a water glass there's no place I could put it.
I've learned it feels weird to live in a stranger's home. They left stuff in the fridge. I don't want to drink the Stoli or the one Bud Light. I also don't want to throw it out. So it cohabitates along with my broccoli, my eggs and my butter. Why didn't they leave butter? There are many, many, many rolls of toilet paper. I brought my own, is that stupid? Am I supposed to use theirs? What is the etiquette around this? So much to learn. I'll google it.
I want to be a good renter. It took me right back to 4th grade when I was Miss Levy's favorite student and she told my mother how bright and sweet I was. That's when my good girl personna really blossomed. It's important that people like me -even strangers who I'll never meet. Tell me doctor, is that wrong?
Siri and I are going to explore the beach today. Maybe pick up a garbage can and some drinking glasses.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird #3. 1/2/13
Woke up today to a gorgeous day. Sunny, breezy, temps in the 70s. Just what I came to Florida for. I was feeling smug and glad I made the decision to come here. Ha-ha-ha to the people at home, with their hats, gloves, scarves and boots - and all that snow.
Thought I'd do a little food shopping and be home for the cable guy, between 1 and 3.
The food shopping went ok.
You're ahead of me now, aren't you?
I had set up this cable hookup before I left. I made sure I could get what I wanted, since I only have a 3 month rental and sometimes companies are wary of short-timers. I was assured by the realtor and the cable company, that it would be no problem. The cute cable guy showed up right on time. What is it with the genes (or is it the jeans?) of cable guys. They're always so cute and friendly. Come to find out that the mega-cable company that services most of this area is actually not the cable company that my complex uses. My complex uses Harry's Fly-By-Night-Cable, whose motto is "call us and we'll put you on hold until you expire".
Eventually I talked to a human who said sure, they'd be happy to hook me up with everything I wanted. On January 14th. What? 12 days without cable and internet access? This was clearly retribution for my earlier smugness. The people at home are freezing, but they're watching TV and e-mailing.
I'm not proud of this, but I resorted to begging. "Please, sir, you don't understand. I need my cable. I need my internet. I'll die without them." OK, maybe a little melodramatic, but c'mon. There was little sympathy from Harry's. They did offer to put me on the cancellation list. I asked if they frequently get cancellations. "all the time". Gee, I wonder why. Probably it's people who chose not to stay on hold and hear "we'll be with you momentarily" for 45 minutes
So here I sit, in paradise, with perfect weather and no cable. Luckily there's a computer room in the Clubhouse so I can vent my frustrations. And there's a pool here, and the beach, and books to read, blogs to write.
All in all, I suppose I'd rather be in Florida.
Woke up today to a gorgeous day. Sunny, breezy, temps in the 70s. Just what I came to Florida for. I was feeling smug and glad I made the decision to come here. Ha-ha-ha to the people at home, with their hats, gloves, scarves and boots - and all that snow.
Thought I'd do a little food shopping and be home for the cable guy, between 1 and 3.
The food shopping went ok.
You're ahead of me now, aren't you?
I had set up this cable hookup before I left. I made sure I could get what I wanted, since I only have a 3 month rental and sometimes companies are wary of short-timers. I was assured by the realtor and the cable company, that it would be no problem. The cute cable guy showed up right on time. What is it with the genes (or is it the jeans?) of cable guys. They're always so cute and friendly. Come to find out that the mega-cable company that services most of this area is actually not the cable company that my complex uses. My complex uses Harry's Fly-By-Night-Cable, whose motto is "call us and we'll put you on hold until you expire".
Eventually I talked to a human who said sure, they'd be happy to hook me up with everything I wanted. On January 14th. What? 12 days without cable and internet access? This was clearly retribution for my earlier smugness. The people at home are freezing, but they're watching TV and e-mailing.
I'm not proud of this, but I resorted to begging. "Please, sir, you don't understand. I need my cable. I need my internet. I'll die without them." OK, maybe a little melodramatic, but c'mon. There was little sympathy from Harry's. They did offer to put me on the cancellation list. I asked if they frequently get cancellations. "all the time". Gee, I wonder why. Probably it's people who chose not to stay on hold and hear "we'll be with you momentarily" for 45 minutes
So here I sit, in paradise, with perfect weather and no cable. Luckily there's a computer room in the Clubhouse so I can vent my frustrations. And there's a pool here, and the beach, and books to read, blogs to write.
All in all, I suppose I'd rather be in Florida.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Snowbird, Freebird - 12/31/12 -1/1/13
I left Mass at 5AM. It was dark, freezing, flurrying and I was excited and nervous as hell. I was hoping to cover at least half the mileage, which would land me in North Carolina. I got happier and happier as the miles went by, sharing life with Siri. who periodically had to recalculate all of my life functions. She was excellent company, talking occasionally, never interrupting, giving pertinent information, and not asking to change the station.
The last time I took a long road trip I drove to North Carolina with my kids who were 13 and 17 at the time. The fight over the radio was a nightmare. I wanted lite rock and they wanted music (and I use that term lightly) that hurt my eardrums. ACDC was the hot band at the time and I don't know if it was AC or DC, but one of them drove me right to the edge.
Anyway, the dark went away and it was a perfect day to drive, overcast with no traffic. I was in a very festive New Year's Eve mood. I stopped at 5PM in Florence, South Carolina. 786 miles from home and enormously proud of myself.
I found an inexpensive motel and realized that it was New Year's Eve and I was in Florence, South Carolina, in a suspicious area. I asked the desk clerk if I could have a quiet room and she said, "not tonight". Uh, oh. The first room had no lights. The second room had no cold water in the bathroom. I was so tired, I just fell into bed. That seemed like a good idea, until 2:30 AM when I woke up. I thought about taking a shower, but I remembered the Bates Motel, and couldn't do it. I hung around until 5:00 and left. Thankfully.
Again, the drive was great. At this point I was feeling like Magellan. I was all set to meet Audrey, who is the manager of the complex, who would be giving me my keys and explaining stuff. I had told her I'd arrive around 5:00, but I was making much better time. I called her at 1:00 to say I'd be in at 2:45. She said, "Uh oh". Those are never good words, but at mile 1200 it was like hearing I had to turn around go back to the tundra. She was out shopping and wouldn't be back when I arrived. No problem Audrey, I'll just hang around and wait for you. How long do you think you'll be? She showed up at 5:15. I was really hungry and tired and sweaty (remember no shower in South Carolina?). Cut to the chase, the apartment is clean! It's bright and pretty. And best of all? It's 75 degrees outside. Not a sign of snow.
Siri and I toasted the New Year and called it a day. No, we called it a conquest.
I left Mass at 5AM. It was dark, freezing, flurrying and I was excited and nervous as hell. I was hoping to cover at least half the mileage, which would land me in North Carolina. I got happier and happier as the miles went by, sharing life with Siri. who periodically had to recalculate all of my life functions. She was excellent company, talking occasionally, never interrupting, giving pertinent information, and not asking to change the station.
The last time I took a long road trip I drove to North Carolina with my kids who were 13 and 17 at the time. The fight over the radio was a nightmare. I wanted lite rock and they wanted music (and I use that term lightly) that hurt my eardrums. ACDC was the hot band at the time and I don't know if it was AC or DC, but one of them drove me right to the edge.
Anyway, the dark went away and it was a perfect day to drive, overcast with no traffic. I was in a very festive New Year's Eve mood. I stopped at 5PM in Florence, South Carolina. 786 miles from home and enormously proud of myself.
I found an inexpensive motel and realized that it was New Year's Eve and I was in Florence, South Carolina, in a suspicious area. I asked the desk clerk if I could have a quiet room and she said, "not tonight". Uh, oh. The first room had no lights. The second room had no cold water in the bathroom. I was so tired, I just fell into bed. That seemed like a good idea, until 2:30 AM when I woke up. I thought about taking a shower, but I remembered the Bates Motel, and couldn't do it. I hung around until 5:00 and left. Thankfully.
Again, the drive was great. At this point I was feeling like Magellan. I was all set to meet Audrey, who is the manager of the complex, who would be giving me my keys and explaining stuff. I had told her I'd arrive around 5:00, but I was making much better time. I called her at 1:00 to say I'd be in at 2:45. She said, "Uh oh". Those are never good words, but at mile 1200 it was like hearing I had to turn around go back to the tundra. She was out shopping and wouldn't be back when I arrived. No problem Audrey, I'll just hang around and wait for you. How long do you think you'll be? She showed up at 5:15. I was really hungry and tired and sweaty (remember no shower in South Carolina?). Cut to the chase, the apartment is clean! It's bright and pretty. And best of all? It's 75 degrees outside. Not a sign of snow.
Siri and I toasted the New Year and called it a day. No, we called it a conquest.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Snowbird, freebird.
This is the first time I've been unemployed in 50 years. I stopped working for a few minutes when I was pregnant, but that wasn't being unemployed, that was maternity leave. I quit work one summer to drive cross country, but that was a long vacation - I came back, had a slew of job offers and went back to work. That was in the 60s, now I'm in my 60s.
This is very different. It isn't just not having a job, it's not EVER having another job. I guess the word is "retirement", and I'm not sure why that's so hard to say. Retirement is for old people and despite the rings around my tree, I don't feel old. I left my job because I can't take another New England winter. If I never see another flake of snow, I'm good.
So I left my office today, with a lovely card signed by everybody, the obligatory promise to stay in touch, my head hidden behind stacked boxes filled with old files as I walked out the door. I will never look at these files again. Files are like snow - if I never see another file again, I'm good.
Now I'm on my way to my next adventure. I'm off to warmer climes, to an apartment in Florida that I've never seen. I've gotten very comfortable in my New England life, which is not a bad thing, but the time has come to expand that comfort zone and take some risks. Understand, my comfort zone is only expanding so far: I need cable (DVR included) and a wireless connection. I made sure those necessities were available before I signed the lease. Remember I said an adventure, not hardship.
I don't know anybody in Florida and that's both exciting and a little daunting. I'm friendly, I'll meet people. I have Skype, and e-mails and a phone, so I'm not exactly going into the Amazonian wilds. A new living space, new grocery store, new bank. I'll make it all work.
There's also the issue of getting there. I'm driving, 1400 miles, by myself. I have to navigate around snowstorms, and arrive in time to greet the cable guy on 1/2/13 between 1 and 3. I won't really be going alone, I have Siri, my GPS friend, and a list of all the NPR stations from Massachusetts to Florida.
Wish me well. I'm already facing my first challenge; it's snowing and I can't get out of my driveway.
This is the first time I've been unemployed in 50 years. I stopped working for a few minutes when I was pregnant, but that wasn't being unemployed, that was maternity leave. I quit work one summer to drive cross country, but that was a long vacation - I came back, had a slew of job offers and went back to work. That was in the 60s, now I'm in my 60s.
This is very different. It isn't just not having a job, it's not EVER having another job. I guess the word is "retirement", and I'm not sure why that's so hard to say. Retirement is for old people and despite the rings around my tree, I don't feel old. I left my job because I can't take another New England winter. If I never see another flake of snow, I'm good.
So I left my office today, with a lovely card signed by everybody, the obligatory promise to stay in touch, my head hidden behind stacked boxes filled with old files as I walked out the door. I will never look at these files again. Files are like snow - if I never see another file again, I'm good.
Now I'm on my way to my next adventure. I'm off to warmer climes, to an apartment in Florida that I've never seen. I've gotten very comfortable in my New England life, which is not a bad thing, but the time has come to expand that comfort zone and take some risks. Understand, my comfort zone is only expanding so far: I need cable (DVR included) and a wireless connection. I made sure those necessities were available before I signed the lease. Remember I said an adventure, not hardship.
I don't know anybody in Florida and that's both exciting and a little daunting. I'm friendly, I'll meet people. I have Skype, and e-mails and a phone, so I'm not exactly going into the Amazonian wilds. A new living space, new grocery store, new bank. I'll make it all work.
There's also the issue of getting there. I'm driving, 1400 miles, by myself. I have to navigate around snowstorms, and arrive in time to greet the cable guy on 1/2/13 between 1 and 3. I won't really be going alone, I have Siri, my GPS friend, and a list of all the NPR stations from Massachusetts to Florida.
Wish me well. I'm already facing my first challenge; it's snowing and I can't get out of my driveway.
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